Christmas Season Mass

Wha' aboot a Protestant service fer us Protestants? Will there be one o' those, alsae? I've heard tha' there be a Chapel in t' City somewhere, wha' has Protestant services or summat like tha'. Us Protestants want tae celebrate Christmas alsae, boot in our own way.

~Margrat Maclean

Tucked just alongside the response is a small scrap of paper with tattered edges and the faintest whisper of red fingerprints, upon which is scribed the following;

Perhaps if you wish to practice in your own way, you should go back to where you came from. 

Otherwise, watch out. We are here. We are there. We are everywhere. 

Written in cramped letters all around the tattered-edged margins of the small, faint-red-finger-printed scrap of paper is the following message:

Lissen oop, ye blarny, fuddy numpties! Ye all be bullies, an' cowards; yellow-livered, mongrel sons o' bitches, wha' be tae frighted tae face armed an' trained folk in close combat! Sae, I nae be afeered o' ye! I be a Scot, a Maclean, an' a Protestant, an' I'll allus be a Scot, a Maclean, an' a Protestant, wheere'er I gae in t' world! Sae, ye be t'uns who'd better be lookin' oot, fer thi' City be full o' folk wha' nae be afraid tae hunt ye daown, an' tae fight ye wheere'er we find ye! One o' these days, we'll smoke ye oot o' yer little holes like t' rats ye all air! Sae say I, Margrat Maclean, Maclean Clan Warrior.

A reminder to all good citizens;

Mass will begin promptly at 9 o’clock tonight.